Stop being a serial networker!

Serial networkers - you know the ones, they'd attend the opening of an envelope if they had the excuse to.

Every time photos from recent networking events pop up online, BAM! there they are.

It almost becomes a weird game of "Where's Wally" and then you start to think to yourself "Seriously, do they actually do any real work?!"

Don't get me wrong I am a big fan of networking.

I've spent years preaching to new BP graduates about the power of the coffee machine - how I got more work done at lunchtime than I ever did at my desk when I worked there; I've delivered keynotes and training workshops on it for businesses of all shapes and sizes. Personally, my incredible network constantly provides me with recommendations, resources and brilliant referrals for my business and I love them for it. God bless those wonderful souls who listen to my rants and ramblings and derive some value (or at least entertainment) from it... but when it comes to serial networkers it's time to call them out!

There is a huge difference between “someone who goes to networking events” and “The Serial Networker”, and there are a few easy ways to tell who’s who... So before you click "Register" or "Buy Now" for that next networking event, take a second and ask yourself if you're guilty of becoming a serial networker.

You know...gathering business cards and then hoarding them in a little box somewhere, trying to collect one from every single person that you meet at every single event you go to...hitting multiple events per month, walking out of each one with a stack of cards in your pocket/purse/handbag and thinking "that was a successful couple of hours work!"

But was it? Was it really?

But was it? Was it really?

There are only 3 reasons why people give business cards:

• You made a good connection with someone after a brief conversation and you have clarity on why you want to follow up on afterwards.

• You can plan an excellent game of "Human Snap" by introducing that person to someone else in your immediate network who would benefit from it.

• You're a complete idiot. You're randomly handing out business cards to people like confetti, without a purpose behind doing so. Seriously, stop it - save the trees!

Can we all stop being so polite? Just accepting cards without knowing why and perpetuating a vicious cycle of vacuous conversation. I refer you to my earlier point about saving trees!

Don’t give someone a business card out of sympathy for their situation or worse, as a way to end the conversation. Tell them you suddenly desperately need the loo instead - much easier! Worst-case scenario, you have to dash there several times (at which point people will assume you have a bladder infection, or will start to avoid the fish-based canapés, either way, It's fine!)

If you can’t help someone or don’t see why they want to follow up, we're all adults here. Just ask them. You don't have to be mean about it, just be honest and tell them you're clueless about what the next steps are (maybe they don't know either) and then you can have an awkward moment and move on.

It's better than the days, weeks and months of vague emails like "Hi! Lovely to meet you at XYZ event, would be great to have a coffee and catch up if you're free."

No. No it wouldn't be lovely. Think about it. You've already invested in buying the ticket, several pounds worth of petrol and 2 hours of your time. Now it's another hour plus the cost of an over-priced coffee plus the petrol to get to and from the afore-mentioned coffee shop.

I'm sad to say you're probably going to end up paying through the nose to get pitch-slapped.

Abort. Abort. Abort!

If you're feeling really generous, TELL them what the next step is because they probably don't know either.

There are only 2 options:

1) Send me an executive summary of who you are and what you do, tell me who you're looking to meet, so I can figure out who I can introduce you to from within my network... Executive means ONE-PAGE ONLY. If you can't condense it down to that, do you even know what you sell? I just want to understand the basics, I don't need war and peace.

Do not send me a 50-page PowerPoint presentation, Do not direct me to your website to fumble around trying to find the information I need. Do not pass go and collect £200.

2) Add me on Linkedin, have a look through my contacts and see if there's anyone I can introduce you to, then we can have a further conversation...

If you want me to be a free walking, talking advert for you, give me the tools to do it quickly and easily. Spend two hours crafting an executive summary one-pager instead of going to yet another networking event - it'll make you more money I can almost guarantee it. If you need a free template let me know - I have several you can use!

I used to network all the time, I explained it to myself by saying: "I'm a new business starting out, I need to get my face out there, become part of the local business community...." At one point I was part of four networking groups. FOUR! I went every week for nearly a year.

Looking back I dread to think how much money I spent and how much time I wasted... The annual fee to access to the networking group, the weekly breakfast fee, the petrol, my time at the event and then all those random coffees afterwards... It took me ages to learn that there's a really fine line between "I just popped in to see what it's like" and "that guy won't stop calling me to book in a 121. It's been WEEKS!"

Think about it, if you spend 2 hours a week at a networking event plus half an hour's travel there and another 30 minutes back that's 12 hours a month on average.

How much is "1.5 working days" of your time worth? And don't say well the event starts at 6.30am so it's technically "before work"... No. That's not how the world or your body works.

Networking is an art and a science. It's driven by curiosity, generosity and tenacity. But, above all, it must be strategic. Recognise the warning signs that you might be over-doing it. If you don't know how to make a networking strategy tell me, I've got a free step by step guide on how to make one so you don't have to make the same (expensive) mistakes that I did when starting out.

Please learn from my mistakes. Don't be a serial networker. Have a strategy. Check your ROI. Make solid, long-lasting connections with the people that inspire you, challenge you and generally make you want to be a better person... invest your time in them and you'll be all the better for it.

So please stop being a serial networker. Spend your time and money elsewhere. Believe me, everyone in your network will thank you for it.