Mental Toughness Metaphors

A student and practitioner of Stoic philosophy, Anthony believes we all have within us the tools to be stronger than we think we are and to achieve more than we think ourselves capable of. Are you looking to build your resilience to the challenges you face? Do you like short, powerful stories?Stories can inspire us, they convey hope and help us find meaning in the things that challenge us. Stories are a great way to connect with others and teach us about ourselves. They can also help us tap into reserves of resilience and mental toughness we didn't know we possess. This collection of 20 stories will help you do just that.You'll discover how to handle pressure, control your impulses, and endure the emotional and psychological distress that are often a part of everyday life. Anthony runs ThreeFifty9, a consultancy specializing in supporting middle managers to be mentally fit leaders. He is the host of the Mental Fitness Podcast and author of Tips From The Top: The Secrets of How to Successfully Navigate Middle Management.

Here are our favorite quotes from the book:

Mental toughness brings another dimension and another perspective to our understanding of personality

Metaphors can simplify what is complex and personality is complex. The use of metaphors provokes reflection and thinking about the meaning of the metaphor as well as illustrating what the concept can mean.

Stories have power not only in themselves but in the situations in which they are told.

Powerful stories don't have to be long in themselves. Often shorter is better - Dr Seuss is a master at that.

Jim Loehr defined mental toughness as "the ability to consistently perform towards the upper range of your capabilities, regardless of competitive circumstances."

Clough and Strycharczyck have built on the work of Loehr and others like Kobasa and Diensteber to develop the 4C's model of mental toughness:

Control - life control "I believe in myself I can do it"; emotional control "I can manage my emotions and the emotions of others"

Commitment - Goal orientation "I set goals and like the idea of working towards goals"; achievement orientation "I do what it takes to keep promises and achieve goals"

Challenge - risk orientation "I stretch myself and welcome new/different experiences"; learning orientation "I learn from what happens, including setbacks"

Confidence - in abilities "I believe I have the ability to do it or can acquire the ability; Interpersonal "I can influence others as they do me"

The book contains twenty stories and metaphors about mental toughness. Here are a few of my favorites...

The Chinese Farmer parable:

The farmer's son, attempting to tame one of the wild horses, fell off its back and broke his leg. The farmer reaction was "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?" Weeks later the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth. When they saw the farmer's son with his broken leg they let him off.

Takeaways: Everything that seems on the surface to be bad may be good. We must bear all circumstances that life brings with equanimity and resilience, with an attitude of this too shall pass. Our mindset and our actions are the only two things we have true control over. Accept this and you'll be more resilient.

The Cricketer:

In 1986 young Australian cricketer Dean Jones was suffering from an acute case of dysentery. He showed high levels of mental toughness, stayed the crease, going on to score a staggering 210 runs. This proved to be his highest score in test cricket. It took him 6 months to recover physically from the effort and landed him in hospital for a while after the game.

Takeaways: The mind will often quit long before the body does. Sometimes we can have too much mental toughness. was it really worth putting his health at risk for a game of cricket?

Courage:

In April 1940, Christian the Tenth, King of Denmark saw the swastika flying above Government building and politely asked that the flag be taken down. The request was denied. "What if I send a soldier to remove it?" he asked

"I will have him shot on the spot said the Commander.

 "I don't think so," replied the King "not when you see who I will send."

"Please explain" said the Commander " the king replied, "I will be that soldier" The flag was removed within the hour

Takeaways: The King was in control of his emotions. Our fears are often worse than the reality.

God & The Farmer:

A priest was driving across the country to take a position in a new parish. In the center of the valley lay one of the prettiest farms he had ever seen. As he drove down the lane to the house, the farmer appeared. "God has truly blessed you with a stunning part of the world" said the priest. "Hmmm" said the farmer ruefully "It is indeed a beautiful farm; you should have seen it when God had it all to himself."

Takeaways: We have the raw ingredients to do amazing things, what matters most is if we choose to put the work in. Other people rarely appreciate the effort it takes to achieve great things.

The Fox & The Hedgehog:

The fox is quick and cunning, creative and persistent; adaptable to traps and bears many of the hallmarks of mental toughness. The hedgehog is less gifted. It looks like a cross between a toilet brush and a tiny anteater. He might represent someone more mentally sensitive. Despite these disadvantages the hedgehog often outsmarts the fox. The more self-aware, the more each person can choose the response that will serve the best in any situation.

Takeaways: What matters as much as mental toughness is emotional intelligence and self-awareness. The world needs foxes and hedgehogs - every team needs a balance of people, personality types and degrees of mental toughness.

The Black Dot:

One day a teacher entered the classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. There were no questions just a black dot in the middle of the page. "I want you to write about what you see there." All of the students without exception described the black dot, trying to explain its position in the middle of the sheet. The teacher began to explain "No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot. Our life is a gift given to us, our friends around us, the job that provides our livelihood, the miracles we see every day. We insist on focusing only on the dark spots, which are very small compared to everything we have in our lives."

Takeaways: We can only control our mindset and what we do. What if you stopped focusing on the black dot in your life?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

A daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable. Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots of water and placed each on a high fire. As each began to boil he placed carrots in the first pot, eggs in the second and ground coffee beans in the third. After twenty minutes he took the carrots and eggs out and placed them in separate bowls and poured the coffee into a cup. "Daughter what do you see?" he asked. "Carrots, eggs and coffee" she replied. "Look closer." he said, and explained "The carrots, eggs and coffee beans all faced the same adversity - the boiling water. The carrots went in hard and unrelenting and came out soft and weak; the egg was fragile but in the boiling water, the egg's insides became hard. The coffee beans were exposed to the boiling water and changed it. They created something new. Which one are you?"

Takeaways: Mental toughness is how we choose our responses. To decide which is best we need to be clear about what our goal is. "It's not what happens to you but how you react that matters"- Epictetus.

You can buy Anthony's book on Kindle here